Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Creature in the Sky.

I'm having an issue that may sound trivial, but it's seriously affecting the love-relationship I have with beans. A few weeks ago, on the spur of the moment, I gave away my vintage crock pot. I had such a firm, tight grip on it, and then in a sudden whim, it was gone. At the time I let it loose, I remember feeling a blinding spark of material liberation, and then in the next moment, I was enveloped in the slow stinking realization of my own constructed doom.

" the creature in the sky. got sucked in a hole. now there's a hole in the sky. and the ground's not cold. and if the ground's not cold. everything is gonna burn."

I didn't even hand it off to someone I knew would appreciate it. Instead I let dazee dump it off with neighbors on the corner, who were having a yard sale. They told him, "No worries, if it's left at the end, we''ll just throw it in the dumpster up the street."

My old crock pot was extra special, and not in the same hipster way as other vintage appliances; this one had a seriously strong work ethic, a removable stoneware bowl for easy clean up, and it was brown in a fugly 70s kinda way. Even though it's sketchy plug left me to sometimes wonder if my house would burn down while I slept or was away, I made a bad decision by giving it away.

Please don't tell me to replace my old crock pot with a pressure cooker, because way back in the day when I lived with two twenty-something boys, a vegetarian Rajasthani and the other a Macrobiotic New Englander, I had one. It was a good one, and I kept it for about 15 years until it died well loved in my arms with it's weighted jiggle top nestled bravely in my bosom . So yea, I know they cook beans fast, and I know you can break chickpea world records with 'em. However, at this point in my life, I don't want quick-quick, and I don't want beans in a thin broth. I desire slowly cooked and bubbled beans thick in a creamy gravy of beany yum. It's probably the only aspect of traditional New Orleans cuisine I can cook and enjoy without using the infinitive "to veganize," and I'm not willing to go back to my old inexperienced or impatient beanie ways.

Last night I put on some small Camellia limas to cook. They soaked for nearly 18 hours in the fridge, were seasoned with browned onion and jalapeno peppers (from the garden), simmered for over three hours, and yes, they were crunchy.

xo
kittee

23 comments:

  1. My condolences and thoughts are with you in tragic time. This reminded me of Tom Hanks in Castaway when he lost Wilson (I cried for a good while). Poor Kittee.

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  2. Awww... That's a sad story, but at least you infused it with the goodness of The Pixies. It's comforting to know that we all have appliances we love very much. Your crockpot was lucky to have had you!

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  3. Now, I just want to hug my old crockpot a little bit harder than usual.

    Remember this vintage adage: "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it was probably sold for 25 cents."

    Hugs to you, Kittee!

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  4. oh dear.
    I know this feeling. So generous - so "in the moment"... and then suddenly "what was I thinking." I do this often. I'm sorry for your tragic loss/act of generosity.

    :)

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  5. a tear just rolled down my cheek at the thought.

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  6. Crockpots abandoned, what shall the Lord Seitan's people do?

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  7. RIP Crock Pot.
    Cool song to go out to.

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  8. oh! i hate when i do stuff like that!

    i think my mom has that same crockpot... maybe i can go steal it and send it to you...

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  9. I have always wanted a crock pot, but they don't really line the shelves at buymart here...but in my desire I can feel your pain. I hope you can make it through this difficult time.

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  10. You could probably get another at a thrift store. I see them all the time. Maybe it will have a good cord, too!

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  11. 1. You get the award for Best Application of Pixies song (that one is Little P's favroite too).

    2. Maybe Goodwill? I think we have a fugly crockpot somewhere. You could have it!

    3. XO and I feel you on the Giver Away's remorse. I always do that! Gah!

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  12. agreed with pixie pine, good use of a pixies song.

    are you truly taking the time to mourn, like sitting shiva?

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  13. bummer...I hope someone bought it because if that is in a dumpster...oooh the thought!

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  14. Oh Kittee, I'm sorry about your Crock Pot. I feel your pain. I've done that before so many times with things.

    I have never had great luck making beans in the slow cooker, but may have to get some instructions from you. I usually pressure cooker them until tender, and then simmer them on the stove for a bit to get that nice thick gravy.

    Can you treat yourself to a new slow cooker once you've moved?

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  15. This post makes me so sad for you! I can sympathize - I've made similar mistakes before, too.

    Did you take a look in the dumpster to see if it was in there?

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  16. My dad has that same crockpot. It was his mothers, and he won't let me take it. so now it sits unloved in a cupboard in his kitchen, nary to be used.

    *sigh*

    I need to buy myself one. Oh, how I want one.

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  17. Hi Kittee,

    I understand your grief! Oh, what a moment of madness you must have been in to have done that. By way of condolences, I have some thoughts that might help. (1) I have a vision of another well-loved old crockpot coming into your life by accident. I believe it will be a beautiful olive green and you will be delighted to find that it's plug is in healthy shape. The river of life is going to carry this towards you in some flakey way and the circle of loss will be complete. (2) Until then, may I suggest my TNT method with chickpeas (and other beans of course). I got it from an old Italian cookbook and I swear nothing does the trick with chickpeas better! You soak them over night. When ready to cook, preheat your oven to 350 to 375 (must be a strong 350). Place drained beans in a heavy pot with an oven-proof lid -- I use cast iron. Cover beans with water plus an inch above the beans. Place on stove and bring to boil. Remove from heat and place lid on pot and put pot in the middle of the heated oven. The beans should be cooked in about an hour or so. And, for me, they come out perfectly cooked everytime this way despite the fact that over the years I have had horrible ovens!!!

    And, remember, I can see another beloved crockpot coming into your life so all of this is just temporary.

    Arlene

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  18. I sense a crock-rescue in your future. At least it promises to be less painful than Steve Irwin's...

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  19. ::pours malt liquor for Kittee's crock:: RIP, dawg.

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  20. Oh no! I hate giveaway regret! I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your crockpot found a good home and I've no doubt that one day you will give a new crockpot a very loving home.

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  21. Oh my! I considered you the ultimate crock pot bean mistress!

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  22. Sadness! I gave up mine as well (fugly and 60's, and the crock was not removable), but I acquired a new one and life is good again. Modern and metallic...but good. Go get one.

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  23. Farewell crockpot friend. There will be a new crockpot buddy. Yes it will be different but all friends are.

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